Why Frank Ocean’s 30th Birthday Party Was So Important
Whether @frankocean realizes it or not, his drag ball inspired birthday party was a major act of self acceptance, and an outright defiance of heteronormativity.
In a warmly lit room, filled with fine art, chandeliers, and Greek architecture, the ineffable Frank Ocean sauntered, strutted, and vogued in three outfits—all of them involving glitter. On his face he wore golden Gucci sunglasses in the shape of pineapples. Beneath the glasses? A face full of make-up.
The theme of the night was ‘Paris Is Burning’—a Jennie Livingston documentary following drag balls in 80s Harlem. Attendees packed on the shimmer, but what makes this even more noteworthy, is that many of the guests identified as men.
Mac Demarco, @illegalcivilization, Brad Pitt, Tyler, the Creator, Amine, and Luka Sabbat were just some of the guests who showed up in eyeliner and x-strapped jumpsuits to the “Legendary House of Ocean Ball”. This was a safe space. Outside the ballroom walls exists a world of soul destroying hyper-masculinity and homophobia—where trans women are murdered by the dozens, LGBTQ+ nightclubs are attacked, laws that allow gender neutral bathrooms are repealed, and shock therapy for LGBTQ+ youth is still an ongoing debate.
These truths are particularly prevalent in black communities, where black boys are usually disallowed to be vulnerable or carefree. When they are emotional they are told to “Man up”, when they wear tight or bright clothing they are told “That’s gay” (implying that gayness is something shameful), and understand the unspoken rule: “Don’t even think about showing affection to a friend of the same gender”.
Now, imagine being openly LGBTQ+ in these toxic, heteronormative, hyper-masculine, and homophobic communities. Children are ostracized, they commit suicide, they’re harassed in the streets and at school, and they get told that God is condemning them to hell from their family and priests.
These factors, amongst countless others, can make one feel alone and defeated, to say the least. Which is why when figures such as Prince or Frank Ocean, and images such as Young Thug in a dress come around, we treasure them. LGBTQ+ youth have the space to take a breath of fresh air. When a young, LGBTQ+, black person can scroll down their newsfeed and see Frank Ocean prancing around blissfully in iridescent pants with make-up on, a door opens for self acceptance and inspiration.
When there’s a room full of their favorite artists and actors wearing winged eyeliner and glittery highlighter, they begin to see that maybe, just maybe, the narrative of non binary people being unholy and set for damnation is false. Because it is. Maybe, just maybe, they can be gay and care free, trans and care free, bisexual and care free. So, on the night of October 28, 2017, when Frank Ocean twirled and posed and vogued, it was more than just a party. It was revolutionary. It was self love. Triumphant. And, it was protest.
I had a dream I went to class but only a few people were there. When I asked one of them (a guy who was just staring blankly at the chalkboard) where the rest were, he only said “they’re all awake”.
When I woke up, I realized I overslept and missed my first class.
What’s better— the thread is filled with people giving some good advice on how to respect a woman’s boundaries and how to ask what she would be okay with, publicly. Lots of trans girls thanking him for being so patient and thoughtful with his words, and lots of people cautioning him that his purpose as a boyfriend would be to keep her safe, even from his own friends and family if need be. A+ shit right here.
This has happened to me before when I was in college at a frat party. This girl comes squeezing herself in between me and my friend and throws her arms around me. “Amanda, I am so glad you decided to come!” I was so confused and just figured she was drunk and mistaked me for someone else, until I saw the panic on her face. She leaned close and whispered that a guy was following her, was certain that he had put something in her drink and if I would please play along. I looked behind her and sure enough, some creep was watching her like a hawk. We invited her to hang out with us the rest of the night and even waited until her ride showed up just to make sure she was safe. Always look out for each other!
If you ever feel scared like this just come up to me like we have been friends since kindergarten, call me any name u can come up with ill play along.
🗣
👌🏾
Stay together, stay safe
Perfect advice. I’m reblogging this as a guy, because first of all, if you”re a guy : DON’T DO THAT. Don’t be that creep.
And if you’re a guy and you notice some creep is following or stalking a girl, and that she’s obviously uncomfortable or panicked, go ahead and say hi, long time no see, pretend to be her cousin, and tell her discretly you noticed there was a shady guy. Ask her if something’s wrong, if she feels unsafe, if she wants your help (very important - she may not trust you enough, no one could blame her, don’t take it personally). (and don’t you dare take advantage of the help you offered for a flirt opportunity, that would make you no better than the creep)
We can all stop “witnessing and do nothing”, and set an example.
Alternative option for a guy: if you feel safe doing so, go up to the creeper who’s following her and be like “hey WHAT’S UP bud do you like SPORTS? My favourite team is the redsox what’s YOURS my man? What you DRINKING dude that looks GOOD.” and be friendly and just loud enough to blow his cover. Draw attention to him and see what he does. He won’t feel as safe creeping if he knows people are looking at him, and maybe he’ll leave. It also means the woman won’t have to worry that you are *another* creeper she has to be wary of, and you may distract the bad dude enough to give her a chance to lose him.
Maybe medieval people happened upon a T-Rex fossil and came to a relatively logical conclusion that dragons existed.
I’ve read a couple books on this actually, thats exactly what happened. Also cyclops are from looking at bones from a certain type of baby elephant. The giant note hole and tiny eyes made it look like a single eye.
Yep, can confirm! And what’s even funnier to me is that back in the dark ages, Greek people used to find a lot of prehistoric bear skeletons - and those look exactly like human skeletons, except they’re like eight feet tall or something - so they naturally assumed those were the heroes of legend, and made armour and clothes for them and reburied them with the most splendid and sacred religious ceremonies they could think of? Fast forward five centuries, Athens’ all modern and rational, philosophers and scientists aren’t taking any shit from anyone - but the problem is, people will randomly find graves containing giant-ass warriors, so that’s something that can’t be explained away and yeah, demigods were a thing and yeah, they used to be eight feet tall and sorry I don’t make the rules.
